Marquel, TPVs NYTimes Hey Lady Section correspondent was hailing a cab when he saw the driver’s gender and unperturbed walked in and said, “To the 21 Club, please,” quickly adding, “and make it on time for lunch,” in light of the gender of his driver. Then, he read A Woman’s Place Is on the $20.
If Andrew Jackson were replaced on the $20 bill with a woman, who should it be? Eleanor Roosevelt? Sojourner Truth? Make your nominations heard! The Times seems to be leading a campaign to remove Jackson and replace him with a female. But they face a difficult problem. Most of their suggestions are unknown.
The campaign seems to be a kind of an academic challenge led by Gloria Steinem, another unknown in today’s female world.
Having finished his steak tartare lunch, Marquel decided to run his own campaign and see who came up first. He visited thirty nail salons all over the city. The women clients expressed high interest but seemed to leave the rules behind in their passion.The overwhelming favourite was Roseanne. Marquel explained that the candidates have to be dead to be placed on paper money.
“She’s dead, I’m sure,” said one women.
The woman filing her nails looked up and parroted, “Yes! She dead. She dead!”
Marquel said he was pretty sure Roseanne is still alive.
“Well she looks dead,” the women said. “Just like Joan Rivers.”
“Yeah, but before that she looked dead,” said the women.
“Jackie O!” Several shouted.
A large chorus of choices said, “Lady Di, Lady Di, Lady Di!“
“Marilyn Monroe,” a few shouted.
“Madonna!” Another crowd sung .
Several appeared ready to dispute that, when a voice from the back said, “Kelly!” Several others began chanting, “Kelly, Kelly, Kelly!”
Eyes all over looked concerned and doubtful. One woman asked, “are you sure? Have you seen her?”
Same initial response in all the salons. “Martin Luther King!”
“But he’s dead,” they all shouted.
- Got to be American.
- Got to be a women.
- Got to be a leader in her own right, not a first lady.
- And must be dead.” I said.
A groundswell had grown for Oprah. Everybody wanted Oprah. They were chanting her name. “You’re right,” I said. “She’s female, American, a leader in her own right. But she’s alive!”
One woman whined. “Who cares? What’s so great about being dead? We elect president after president. None of them are dead. They’re leaders. They’re American. They’re alive. Isn’t that great? Who’d vote for a dead president? Why dead women?”
“It’s a rule. You don’t commemorate people on money unless they’re dead.” I said.
The women were unanimous. It was a stupid rule. Suddenly someone shouted,
“Marie Curie. She’s dead!”
“But she’s French. This is American money. American women.” I saw this was a futile task. We are ignorant of history.
They paused, then groaned, then they starred talking, shouting, screaming. “Hillary Clinton! We want Hillary we want Hillary. We want Hillary!”
One woman stood up to act as spokesperson.
“Look Marquel, this is a stupid rule. But it’s a great opportunity. Nobody here likes Hillary enough to vote for her. But politically she’s dead. Isn’t that good enough? And one reason is that she’s boring. Even a dead woman would be more magnetic. And if we put her on the twenty, maybe that would satisfy her! What a solution. We want Hillary that’s it.”
“Hear, hear,” travelled through the nail salon. At least we had agreement. But not a truly viable candidate. Of course that describes Hillary and her campaign to a T. This is the feminine mystique, I thought. They know what they want, have good reasons to want it, and think nothing of a foolish rule or two that might block it.
I had to leave it to the women. They were smarter than the others. I had discovered the truth about who belongs on the twenty dollar bill. Good bye Andrew, hello Hillary!
Lovely
marvelous
perfect pitch
ditto
ditto2
funny
crazy funny
crazy fuquel
Yes, that’s how you change people’s mind