Keith Richards Is Writing a Children’s Book “Gus and me.” Its first sentence is – “I can’t get no satisfaction.”

Finally The N Y Times had nothing to report and made up a children’s story: Keith Richards Is Writing a Children’s Book. Yes, a Children’s Book. According to the publisher, and to Marquel, TPVs Times Book Review Correspondent, it’s the story of a grandfather and a grandson who “can’t get no satisfaction.”

Although labelled a children’s book, the first chapter, starting with the words,”I can’t get no satisfaction,” has some rather heady advice for child readers, ending with the advice never to have sex before you can read. Not bad advice, of course, considering the alternatives, but Gramps is compelled to add this footnote: “at least not to somebody who has different kind of body parts than you.”

It is that kind of simplified language which forms the basis for the books charm. When the two go on vacation, where do they go? Altamont. And what does Gramps advise now? “Beware of angels, son, they could kill you.”

The third chapter is entitled “Brown Sugar,” and Gramps gives a birthday party, something all children enjoy. The book is guaranteed to be a hit, especially in this chapter where all the kids dress up in blackface (including the Afro American guests about whom Gramps gives this sage advice, “don’t ever treat anybody differently.”)

The next chapter is about returning the birthday gifts, something Gramps advises against, but when the little Keith decides he prefers BARBIE dolls to trucks and police cars, Gramps cautions that, “you can’t always get what you want.” Later, Gramps shows how to undress all the dolls and puts them in a heap saying,”they’ll have more fun if they’re all together and naked, don’t you think?” To which the little boy nods assent vigorously and moves the dolls around in the heap.

One of the final chapters is deceptively titled, “Just say no,” but the younger readers will really love it. Gramps points out that when told not to eat more candy, nothing is more fun than eating even more.
“The same is true for your medicines,” says Gramps avuncularly, adding, “or any other pills or drugs that some nice people might give to you some day.” And, he adds, “or sell you.”

All in all, this seems one of the healthiest children’s books to be published this year or last, written by a man who’s seen it all and is generously willing to share it. The final chapter is about imaginary friends, and little Keith has one called Jumping Jack Flash. Jack advises baby Keith to “never grow up, because having fun is more fun than anything!” It’s good advice for anyone, and this may be a crossover book that makes it to the top of the adult as well as children’s lists. One thing I received from this little book was satisfaction and you will too.

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You can just say YES to Marquel and follow him on Twitter @MarquelatTPV.