[embedyt]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_virkcPRkPs[/embedyt]Marquel TPVs NYTimes Wealth Management Section correspondent, was eating a plain bagel, when he read Lincoln Center to Rename Avery Fisher Hall. Lincoln Center is essentially paying the Fisher family $15 million to drop the name so that the New York Philharmonic can lure a donor to finance a major renovation of its home.
This was among the most fantastic stories Marquel had ever read. First Fisher gave ten million to the Center to have it named after him. Then just decades later, he takes fifteen million to have it unnamed. Five million profit for no work at all. Marquel spent hours considering this. It was a moneymaking opportunity and it could be done on the cheap.
Marquel’s scheme was simple. Give naming rights to as many organizations as possible. It almost doesn’t matter to whom. As long as one of them becomes successful, they’ll pay him eventually to change their name.
It seemed a sure thing. But first Marquel called Mufi, who had a lot more experience in finance.
“It sounds like a winner to me,” said Mufi, “especially since it costs you nothing.”
“That’s what I thought,” I said, “all I need is one winner and I’ll be a winner too. And there are so many possibilities. I don’t know where to start.”
“Start with me,” said Mufi. “Give me your naming rights.”
“Okay,” I said, scribbling out a license. “From now on and into perpetuity, you can call your restaurant Marquel’s.”
“How about Marquel’s Homemade Noodles?” Asked Mufi.
“Sure,” I said, “that works.”
I went up and down Bayard Street, then most of the rest of Chinatown, licensing my name in perpetuity. Many of the owners wondered why but when I pointed out it was free, they agreed instantly.
I went to the Times and offered my name. They were baffled at first but when I explained the financial arrangements, they agreed.
I went to Police Plaza and offered my name to the Department.
“How would we use the name?” They asked.
“The New York City Marquel Police department. Having a name, a private donor, makes you seem much more chichi and, I might add, a lot less threatening.” I said.
When I told them it was free, they accepted. I also got the building and the shooting range on City Island.
I got all the steak houses in town and all of the off Broadway theatres. I’ve got emails out to almost every remaining business in town. I’ve even got the little Russian guy on Third avenue who fixes shoes and replaces watch batteries. He’s already changed his name to the Marquel Russian Emporium.
Now it’s a waiting game. With no work involved. Just like the Fishers. As soon as one of my donees makes it big and wants to change its name, I’ll be there with my lawyers. Ten million. Twenty million. I’m the first communist capitalist. The first successful communist capitalist.
Life is wonderful.
[embedyt]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zFaBwZDywLk[/embedyt]
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MARQUEL: Life’s Wonderful Emporium
Marvelous
perfect pitch
ditto
ditto2
I cannot stop laughing.
good luck our first commie capi
loved it.
wonderful piece. loved it
Really enjoyed this one…Hope to see one last performance at Avery Fisher Hall.