Missions Signal a Growing Role for Mormon Women. And Other Minorities

As expected, The New York Times reported on Missions Signal a Growing Role for Mormon Women. Unexpectedly, Marquel, TPVs Times correspondent dug further and discovered that more and more Mormon women are going on missions to faraway places, a role once reserved for men.
Marquel was fascinated by the so called progress of the Mormon church, which until recently, barred blacks from membership and treated women like wives.

I flew to las Vegas because we didn’t have a budget, and tried my luck in the casinos, winning enough to go on to Salt Lake City but they wouldn’t let me take my winnings with me. The burly guards told me somewhat patronizingly,

“What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas.”

“What?!” I said.

“It’s not like we didn’t tell you,” he said reprovingly.

I eventually made my way to the Crystal Palace where the head of the church, Rev. Norman Norman, gave me an audience.

“What’s with the girls on missions?” I immediately asked.

“They’re a lot prettier,” he said.

“You’re telling me for the record that you chose to treat women differently because they’re prettier?” I challenged.

He laughed and said, “Of course not. You asked me what’s with them. I said they’re prettier. It was a simple observation. I’ll bet you agree.”

“Well I don’t know. I haven’t seen your boys,” I said. “So tell me why you’re sending them. Is this the first step to making them eligible for the priesthood?”

“Heavens no. We’re just sending them far far away. I hardly think that’s a step to priesthood. My God, man,” he said, “they’re women!”

“Yes,” I asserted, “that’s the whole point of the interview. So, why?”

“I did tell you they’re prettier, didn’t I?” He asked. I nodded. “Well aside from that, we find it’s healthy for the community. Last week I had several of my married friends send their wives on  missions as well as their oldest teenagers.”

“You’re point is?” I asked.

“Well two of them called me this morning saying it’s the most peaceful time they’ve had in ages. I have applications here,” he said, holding up a stack of papers at least two hundred thick, “for many more families asking that their wives be considered.”

“But who will take care of the children,” I asked.

He paused. And continued to pause. “We have…excellent um…alternative child care arrangements in the Mormon church.”

“So would you send your wife on a mission?” I asked.

“Indeed. I already sent my youngest,” he said.

“Your youngest?” I inquired.

“Certainly. She’s the prettiest.”

“Your youngest wife is the prettiest? How many wives do you have?” I asked suspiciously.

“Did I say that? I meant my young wife. My young wife. Only one. We changed that over a hundred years ago.” He asserted.

“But,” I said, “you said she was the prettiest. You were obviously talking about a group of them.”

He looked at me. For a long time. Then he said, once again, “did I say that? She’s the prettiest in town. That’s what I meant.”

“So is it peaceful in your house now?” I asked, “don’t you miss her?”

“Oh I have several other…to help…several other interests that keep me busy. Yes it’s much more peaceful now.” He said, sweat coming through the front of his shirt.

“This is very interesting,” I said, “so this won’t lead to priesthood?”

“Not a chance in Hell,” he said combatively.

“And what about your newly welcomed black members? Do you send them on missions?” I asked.

“Certainly,” he answered, “those boys do work hard.”

“No I meant the women,” I corrected him.

“Well yes, although I haven’t seen the numbers. They’re a minority you know,” he offered.

“Yes,” I said “I’ve heard them called that. Where do you send them?”

“Many go to Africa. Their roots, you know.” He noted.

I was suddenly feeling frisky. “Any go to France,” I asked.

“Oh no, that’s the most popular destination. Even our white congregants don’t often get that.” He said.

“Even the whites?” I asked. He nodded. “Any blacks go to Belgium?” He shook his head. “Italy or Germany or any of the Scandinavian countries?” He continued shaking. “How about Canada?” I asked. How about just one little black boy or girl in Canada?” I asked.

“It’s too cold for them there,” he said, “dark skin you know.”

“But,” I protested, “I’ve seen many Africans in Sweden for instance.”

“Not Mormons,” he said knowingly.

So none in Europe or Canada?” I asked.

“No,” he answered, “mostly Africa. The girls are very pretty.”

“You said that already,” I noted.

“Not about the blacks,” he corrected me.

“Fair enough,” I agreed.

I could hear the strains of the Choir as if signaling the end of our interview.

***

If you feel empowered by the article, you may want to follow Marquel on Twitter @MarquelatTPV.