Home By Marquel Muslims of Early Days: Seligs of American History

Muslims of Early Days: Seligs of American History

Marquel, TPVs NYTimes Who’s On First Section correspondent was half asleep when he read The Muslims of Early America, and learned that 20% or more of the slaves brought to the New World were Muslim. But Marquel was blocked.

The point seems to be that Muslims aren’t a recent phenomenon in America. We’ve lived side by side with them for centuries. Of course, if you weren’t a slave that wasn’t true. Not many people lived side by side with slaves except…slaves. Marquel didn’t think the point was well made. If they meant to say that these Muslims were obviously peaceful all those years, well, first they were slaves and had little choice. But terrorists seem to be newcomers to America and those Americans who believe there’s a connection between terrorism and Muslims aren’t going to change their minds with this news about slaves. It might even plant bad ideas.

Better to discover the Muslims who led ordinary lines in pre colonial, colonial, and post-colonial times.Marquel went to the NYU center for American Muslim studies and spoke to the staff.

“Why yes,” said the director, “there were many normal Muslims who helped form America. Take Abdul Abdullah, Roger Williams’ assistant when Rhode Island was formed. Abdul was recruited from the south when the Providence Plantations were formed, because Williams thought a former slave would know about plantations. And Henry Henries came with the Pilgrims in 1620. He was the only one not afraid to get wet. So while all the pilgrims insisted on stepping on Plymouth Rock to get ashore, Henries plunged right in and held the rock steady for the others. Who knows what might have happened without him? A perfectly observant and peaceful Muslim.” He said.

“Wow I knew nothing about all that!” Marquel exclaimed.
“Few do. During the French and Indian War, Pierre depierre, a Muslim convert from Paris, spoke to the Indians in their own language to help settle the war. He was an excellent linguist and former Muslim. Later, Paul Revere had an assistant, just called Beans, who helped with his silversmithing, Reveres occupation. The night of the ride, Beans came up with the phrase, one if by land,two if by sea. Revere wanted three if by sea, but it was Beans who pointed out that one could only hold two lanterns at a time. Plus beans considered three and higher to be higher math and didn’t want to go there.” The director said.
“That is news. And these were all Muslims?” I asked.
“Yes, and not just men. Betsy Ross made the flag out of Teensy Tina’s Burkah. Tina was hired by the Ross family as a chimneysweep, because of her size. Her Muslim faith and dress was irrelevant except when she had to face east to pray while in a chimney. She was at a loss to figure it out and died very young but not before she helped make the flag.”
“Why don’t people know all this?” I asked.
“The same reason as we don’t learn much about anyone outside of the mainstream. A lot of them were mistreated. Benjamin Franklin did his famous lightning experiment with Mohammed Mohammed, who had scientific training. But Franklin decided that during the storm, Mohammed should hold the key. Thunder struck, the lightning came down the wire, and Mohammed lit up like Times square. Franklin praised Mohammed at the funeral and everyone claimed he was still glowing in the coffin. No electricity without Mohammed Mohammed.” He said
“So I presume the list is almost endless from the few facts you’ve told me today.” I said.
“Oh yes. I could tell you Mary Lincoln was actually a Muslim but she was institutionalized all her life because they took her Muslim beliefs to be insanity.” He said.
“My God. Mrs Lincoln was a Muslim? Did Lincoln know?” I asked.
“Never suspected. He too thought she was just insane.” He explained.
“What about modern American history?” I asked.
“Look at Pearl Harbor. Sammy Sami was a Muslim sailor. On the morning of December 7, 1941, he went to the captain of the USS Arizona and said a tragedy was about to occur. He told the captain the entire fleet should go to sea just for the day where they’d be safe. That was the first known instance of anti Muslim sentiment. The captain put him in the brig for treason or something, didn’t take the warning, and and sunk right at berth. A terrible historical fact.” he said.
“So they were soldiers too,” I said.
“The most important Muslim military event was at D Day. The rangers came ashore under punishing bombardment from the heights and didn’t know where to turn. Lt. Abby Abbas, a Muslim sailor who had stayed to pray in the middle of the invasion said, ‘East East!’ And they did, and were able to scale the cliffs. Had they gone west, they would have been crushed.” Said the director.
“So how’d we get to this point, where Muslims are demonized?” I asked.
“There’s no answer to that but personally I attribute it to J Edgar Hoover.” He said.
“Hoover was a Muslim?” I asked.
“No,” he said, laughing,” but Hoover’s boyfriend ran off with Shulamith Shulamith, a Muslim in drag, and gay to boot. Hoover put him on the ten most wanted list, got his boyfriend back, and from then on demonized Muslims as ‘homewreckers,’ and as far as I’m concerned it all started then.”
I thanked the director for the information but didn’t really know what to do with it. Muslims are like the Seligs of American history, present at every key moment. They just should have left Hoover’s boyfriend alone. But that was love. Who can stand in its way? Even Muslim love in these days of terrorism.


Muslims of Early Days: Seligs of American History


  1. i peed in my pajamas. I am still laughing at your crazy mind’s writing. I love you crazy man

  2. Frankling and Mohammad were such good friends no one mentioned that before…So much history had been ommitted


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