This year’s Super Bowl was the most watched show in television history, with ads selling for $150,000 a second. The Super Bowl is just one of the endeavours the National Football League (NFL for fans) has to its credit. NFL brings in over $9.5 billion in revenue a year, but, unlike you and me, it is somehow considered a “non-profit organization” and hasn’t paid a penny in taxes since 1966, a year before I was born, and probably your parents.
But if neither you nor I can become billionaires, maybe we can become tax exempt. Here are a few ideas:
- Get yourself a TV show and run hilarious commercials about Viagra, beer and cars every few minutes.
- Use cheerleaders whereever you go and do and make sure you take selfies or have others post your pictures on Instagram. Then, run a reality show with them. The cheerleaders.
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Stay away from yucky stuff Americans don’t like, like medicine, unless it is Viagra or something equally useful.
- Call yourself NFL or at least name your child NFL and make the event into a reality TV show.
If nothing works, file for 501(c)(3) status anyway and tell us how it felt waiting for the results.
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DANA NEACSU: NFL Is Tax Exempt and You Can Be too
Dear TPV
This is America so I say, if you can’t join ‘em, beat ‘em. And since I’m not a football team or a cheerleader and can’t afford even 1 second worth of ad time (those 1 second slots must be for subliminal ads) I am announcing the formation of the
New Football League (NFL – total coincidence)
We are all-American, so we are inclusive, UAE, Switzerland, Germany any country with a GDP in the black (sorry Greece), a team, and a checkbook is welcome!
We are American so we will pay TAXES like CRAZY, for every one million in profit, we’ll pay 50%
We are American, so we have to just say no to drugs, but we only have to pretend to say no to sex, so no Viagra, but yes cheerleaders!
OK just one drug, since we are only pretending to say no: Niagara – named after the US side (so, American!) because we think wetness is sexy and nothing says wetness like Niagara, or you, if you are one of our customers…
We’re number one!