Marquel, TPVs NYTimes Bullets and Holes Section correspondent, was negotiating the price of a well-worn bullet-proof vest, when he read Autopsy Shows Michael Brown Was Struck at Least 6 Times. A private, family-requested autopsy shows that Michael Brown was shot at least six times — twice in the head — with all of the bullets striking him in the front. Marquel was fully impressed with this marksmanship. Six shots. All in the front. If you want to avoid charges that you shot a fleeing man in the back, that’s the way to do it.
“Policehole View, huh?” The sergeant said, ” aren’t you the guys who…”
“So how can I help you?” He asked. “We need all the help we can get.”
“And if I say something’s confidential you’ll hold it back?” He asked.
“Okay we follow the white book, the incident manual published by the police association. We’re supposed to give out as little information for as long as we can, to create confusion, and never before everyone has his story straight. So it took a good week. The identity of the perp was last because he was having trouble learning his lines and how to say ‘Afro American.’ “
“Thanks, sir” he said.
“White book’s quite clear about that. Any firm findings we’ve got to mention or we look like fools. Anything they miss we can miss making a potential accident look like a fact. And then we can add things that might be understandably overlooked by the first one. Like the marihuana. They had no findings so we put some in. Pretty hard to rebut when they have no affirmatively negative findings.” He said.
“White book. Never give more than the body. Now they admitted they can’t estimate distance without it. So distance is our shot. We get the distance we like and send them those parts of the clothing that corroborates it. The rest of it was damaged or lost or contaminated in the panic.”
“Thanks sir.”He said.
He picked up the phone, “chief, this guy says the bullet holes are a work of art. Michelangelo!” He hung up. He paused. “The primary rule of the white book is never have a bullet hole in the back side of any part of the body. It’s better to get rid of the body than have holes in the back. Especially with no weapon.”
“We’ll, as you know there are two or three methods. One guy can hold the perp facing you while you shoot him. The rule to follow is NEVER shoot once he’s dead. That shows up immediately on autopsy cause it doesn’t bleed. Then you’re shooting a dead body. Never do that.”
“Well sometimes you have to do method two.”
“We’ll you’ve got to run after the perp, who’s probably slow from bullet wounds, and even out race him. Then you turn around and shoot him in the front. We had to out race this one.” He said.
“You mean where you say stop or I’ll shoot, he turns around facing you, and you plug him in the front? I say whatever works. As long as all the bullet holes are in the front it’s righteous.” He said.
“Good bye sir,” he said, saluting.