Spicer Briefings by PigeonGrams!

In a surprising new twist for our decaying democracy, TPV has been invited to attend the West Wing briefings. The invitation was delivered by a White House white pigeon and it was addressed to TPV for as long as our audience does not reach 10,000, and we continue to remain independent of CNN, The New York Times, and Politico, which we are.

The message said that as long as TPV pays $10 per PigeonGram we can consider ourselves part of the media elite.

The bad news is that we would be squeezed in between

1. KKK members,
2. the Brown Shirts of Breitbart News,
3. the One America News Network and
4. The Washington Times. Other than their weird wardrobe, those folks have uncontrolled flatulence and don’t like to either wash or use perfume to mask their rotten smell.

In other news, America seems to be doing great. If a Zombie Apocalypse is what we are after.

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By DANA NEACSU: Spicer Briefings by PigeonGrams!