The AT&T Collaborator

Marquel, TPVs NYTimes Help Desk Section correspondent, AT&T Helped U.S. Spy on Internet on a Vast Scale, was considering the difference between gossip and eavesdropping , when he read

• Newly disclosed N.S.A. documents show that the agency gained access to billions of emails through a “highly collaborative” relationship with AT&T.

Marquel really didn’t care about this story that much although it showed thaAT&T was and is willing to lie about anything and that the government is no different. But Marquel had lost all his passwords over the weekend when his computer went nuts. He spoke to Mufi about it.

“I can get you an AT&T employee card by tomorrow. I’ll try to get you a number to call as well.” Said Mufi.

Marquel was joyous. Mufi had worked for every major and minor intelligence agency in the world, often for several adversaries contemporaneously. He was a legend in the spy world. If he could get that card, and number, and thought it would help, there was no doubt.

• The next morning, as Marquel stepped into his hallway half naked to get the Times, he noticed a post it note on the business section. It contained an employee’s number, a PIN, and what Marquel assumed was the number to call. Apparently his name was Donald Trump.

“Agency,” said a voice.

“No problem” said the voice. “Is your name really Donald Trump?” Asked the voice.

“Tell me what you need.”

“I got it right here. He’s a Commie.”

“So what do you need on him? It is a him, isn’t it? This info doesn’t say.” he said.

“Most of it is from yesterday. I’ll let you know if anything is really old.” He said.

“Not to us. Not to anybody, really. Especially when we have repeated information like what you’re asking for. Anything else?” He asked.

• He gave me everything. What a convenience. What would I do without the NSA and AT&T? It was like my own personal cloud.

There was a pause. I could hear the guy breathing, and then typing. “You don’t have clearance for that. He’s pretty high up. Even I don’t have clearance to actually see it.”

“No I really can’t do it. But according to what I see it wouldn’t do you any good. It looks like he was never born. In twenty years I’ve never seen someone’s name without a birthday. But this one is blank. And I’ll tell you this: from what I can see, it looks like all the files have been altered in some way. I can’t tell, but it looks like it’s just empty 0 byte files.”

• But poor Mufi. What if he lost his passwords? He wouldn’t have the convenience of calling AT&T.

The rest of us do. God bless America!

***

By MARQUEL: The AT&T Collaborator