Usually TPV weeks start and end on a schedule foretold. Waiting for them with anticipated delay, here is what fell through the hole this past week.
On Saturday, May 2, England welcomed the birth of Charlotte Elizabeth Diana, who immediately became a paparazzi sensation under the code name “meal ticket.”
On Sunday May 3, two young men woke up in Texas with a craving to kill a few cartoonists. Luckily for the visual artists, a traffic cop gunned them down as soon as fire opened from behind their sedan. It looked as if they had a change of heart in the parking lot.
On Monday, May 4, the Met organized its annual ball around Chinese fashion, and welcomed round fesses protruding from transparent robes in an effort to balance the social X-rays starved to perfection which make most of their donor basis. The effect was that of China dolls on display: you notice them only when they need to be dusted.
On Tuesday, May 5, French school-age youth learned that starting next school year they will all learn about Islam while Christian-based Enlightenment becomes a possible elective in advanced placement classes. They also learned France moved across the Mediterranean sea.
On Wednesday, May 6, Jeannette Bougrab’s book “Maudites” came out reliving her imaginary love story with Stephane Charbonnier (Charb), the creative force behind Charlie Hebdo, and cruelly killed by demented illiteracy in January 2015. Charb‘s brother as well as her friends had long denied the woman’s claim to fame, but TPV believes her because we were there each time Charb came to her bathroom to brush his teeth (a tooth brush is her evidence of their affair). TPV was there, brushing our teeth. In fact, TPV acknowledges affairs with all deceased famous people of the last decade. Beat this Jeannette!
On Thursday, May 7, GQ named Kanye West’s most profitable investment, yet, his inflatable doll, Kimmie, the woman of the year. By extension, her stilettos became CQ’s readers’ prefered phallus.
I didn’t see the video or read all about it but this painted (more brushing…) an appropriately cruel, funny comeuppance:
It looked as if they had a change of heart in the parking lot.