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TheWeekholeView Travels Abroad

TPV is no Mark Twain, but the Trumps are all the Innocents Abroad could have been and more. Where Twain chronicles the first American organized tour of Europe, TPV chronicles Trump, the put-upon simpleton, a gullible victim of flatterers and “frauds,” and an awe-struck admirer of Russian ex-KGB royalty. Here is a sample of what happened during this pan-Asian Trumpism:

  1. Trump finally responded to Kim Jong-un’s dotard insult by behaving like a suburban anorexic adolescent, showing Kim he’s no dotard.
  2. In Japan, the Prime Minister reduced his English vocabulary to “Donald & Shinzo, Make Alliance Even Greater.” Trump seemed to love the effort and smiled at his Japanese counterpart.
  3. During a state dinner at the Great Hall of the People in Beijing, Trump showed guests a video of his granddaughter Arabella Kushner singing and reciting poems in Mandarin. Apparently her Chinese is very good, because she learned it from her Chinese nanny, who also sews her clothes, and who in her spare time sends information back home about the American first family, only to be called a liar and a dissembler.
  4. Before leaving China, Trump asked Xi Jinping if he could ask his daughter to bide him farewell by singing one of the English songs she learned at Harvard. Xi Jinping politely declined.
  5. In South Korea, Trump expressed his views on Xi Jinping, “a very special man, who should run this country, and any country south of Russia. Of course, not Japan. Abe is my friend.”
  6. Happy with his trip, Trump asked for a tourist visa to visit North Korea, but the demand was postponed until Arabella Kushner polishes her Korean with a pioneer song and dance.
  7. Leaving Asia, Trump had one message for his people back home:
    “Stop the covefe. President Putin is a gentleman, and I believe him.”

    By DANA NEACSU: TheWeekholeView Travels Abroad


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