Using a term borrowed from the Orange Revolution, President Viktor F. Yanukovich of Ukraine made plans to meet with former politicians to discuss solutions to the country’s problems. Shape of table appears the most serious roadblock to peace.
“It took the Americans two years in the Paris peace talks to decide on the shape of the table,” declared Yanukovich. “We deserve the same tolerance.”
TPV asked whether all that was bypassed by calling for a round table. Didn’t that settle it?
“People sometimes call Americans naive,” said Yanukovich, “and now I see why. The dimensions! The dimensions! Do we want a small round table? I have one at home. I’d have to ask my wife of course. But it just sits there with a little bowl of nuts on it. I think she’d agree.”
That sounds awfully small, TPV offered.
“I don’t need much room,” replied Yanukovich.
“But what about the others?” TPV asked.
“What others?” he asked. “I am the president.”
“But,” TPV pursued, “you offered a round table, a discussion, didn’t you?”
“Well, I only have that one table. My wife would kill me if I took more. They could bring their own tables. Who did you have in mind?”
TPV was troubled. “It’s not who we had in mind. It’s who you had in mind.”
“It’s simple then. I had only myself in mind. But if others want to come we will need a bigger table. Ukraine is a small country of small tables. We don’t have many large ones. Parliament has a very large table. We could maybe use that, yes?”
TPV offered, “Don’t you think this should have been settled before you made the offer?”
“Don’t be crazy. We have two years. That’s the American rule.”
This didn’t bode well. We bid president Yanukovich adieu.
“I think,” he said, “you could have a square table for a round table, don’t you think? In a small country like this? A square round table… or a round square….”
A crowd outside was throwing rocks. Yanukovich picked up a chair and threw it out the window.
“One less at the fucking table,” he said.
For more about Ukraine, go to http://nyti.ms/19z6FUe.
“…the dimensions!” Nice
John McCain is actually against all government, but says if the people of Ukraine INSIST on a new president, an outsider, a true maverick… After calling Murphy “a pitbull with lipstick” advisors have been afraid to tell McCain that in this case, Chris, is a guy name.U.S. Senators John McCain and Chris Murphy joined around 200,000 anti-government protesters in the central square of Ukraine’s capital Sunday, threatening sanctions against the government of President Viktor Yanukovych if authorities use more violence to disperse demonstrators….maybe he’s mad about the shape of the table?!