Waterloo Is in Belgium. Unless It’s ABBA’s

Belgium Commemorates Waterloo With a Coin, and France Is Not Pleased, read Marquel, TPVs NYTimes Vas Te Faire Foutre Section correspondent. Marquel had to go look it up on a map to be certain. Sure enough, Waterloo is in Belgium.

Who would’ve thought. It seems Belgium’s homage to Waterloo, where France lost big with their midget head of state, rubbed France the wrong way, and objected. The EU barred the coin. But the Belgians found a little known exception that allows a member to coin money without approval if it’s an uncommon denomination and it can only be used in the country that mints it. So they issued a €2.50 coin. Marquel couldn’t remember a time in Europe when he needed €2.50. So the Belgians successfully stuck their tongues out at the French.

So I asked a Belgian what was the big deal.

“Ah eet ees zee french. They have never liked us Belgians. ”  He said.

“Well we are right next to France so eet ees understandable. ” Said he.

“Ah yes,  that is because we speak French here.  We speak better french than they do! “He asserted.

“One thing we are famous for is our chocolate.  It is very fine. ” He said.

” It’s basically a French style chocolate.  We are close neighbors. “He confirmed.

“A lot of sauces,  the basics,  our frites,”

“Exactly.  If you like French food you’d like it in Belgium.  It’s the same food. ” He explained. “We are very close neighbors.  You couldn’t be closer. “

“Certainly there is, but we satisfy ourselves with French marks. It’s quite good and we’re close neighbors.” He said.

“Indeed. France is the country of 300 cheeses no matter who lives right next to them. That’s us of course.” He said.

“Oh, that’s easy. We are close neighbors. Probably a bit too close. It happens.” He said.

“Yes, we’re very close neighbors, couldn’t be closer. ” he said.

“Zees ees so. Too close.” He said.