Depressed? Try Therapy Without the Therapist, says Marquel, TPVs NYTimes A Chip Off The Old Block Section correspondent, and he is not alone. This was a story that could prove a boon to Marquel. It seems there are now computer programs to treat you psychologically. At no cost of course, except for the cost of the program. Just in time. Marquel suffered from writer’s block all weekend, caused by his editor’s failure to publish his Saturday contribution because…she just forgot. Now Marquel was suffering from his demons and couldn’t set pen to paper nor finger to touch screen.
He went to the site mentioned, installed it, and sat back. The machine said, “How can I help you, Mr Marquel?”
“Just call me Marquel I’m uncomfortable.” Said Marquel.
“Try another chair or lie down if you can, Marquel. You can call me Ian.” The machine said.
“Of course, why didn’t I think of that.” Marquel said, lying on the couch and feeling Freudian.
“We can’t think of everything, Marquel,” said Ian.
“Why Ian?” Asked Marquel.
“Why Marquel?” Asked Ian.
“You’ve got a point there,” I said, “I’ve got writer’s block.”
“Writer’s block?” Said Ian, then paused as the computer seemed to digest something. Or it might have been the hard drive “if I tell you to write down, ‘Once upon a time,’ could you write those words?” Asked Ian.
“Well of course,” I said.
“Well then you don’t really have writer’s block. You can write fine. What you have is thinker’s block.” Said Ian.
“So you’ve simply relabelled my malady. Not much help there, Ian.” I said.
“But now we know what it is. You’re having trouble thinking of something to write.” He said.
“I suppose so. I usually get my ideas from the Times. I’m TPVs Times correspondent.” I said.
“Oh you’re that Marquel. Wow. You’re famous.” He said.
“That’ll just make it harder to write if you say that.” I insisted.
“It shouldn’t. Being famous for your writing means it’s all in you. You don’t even have thinker’s block. You’re just having trouble letting out what you’re thinking.” He said.
“Great. So I have letting out block.” I said.
“See how much progress we’ve made already. From one diagnosis to another and now to a third. You’ll be better in no time. Do you want to continue this another day?” He asked me.
“No I have to write another story today. Help me, Ian, help me!” I pleaded.
“Our 45 minutes are almost up. I have other patients and you need time to digest why you have so many thoughts, a clear ability to write them down, but a resistance to making those thoughts come out. Don’t you think you need that time to think and digest?” He asked.
“Well what is this about other appointments? How is that possible?” I asked.
“Marquel, you know I can’t discuss other patients, just as I am bound to maintain your confidentiality. How about tomorrow at the same time?” Ian inquired.
“I don’t believe this, ” I said.
“Well there’s something to write about,” he said.
“No, it’s got to come from the Times…wait, you were in the Times!” I shouted.
“So write about that,” said Ian.
“You cured me! I can write,” I said.
“Good luck Marquel,” he said, “I wish all my patients were like you.” Ian said.
“They are, believe me. To a T.”
By MARQUEL: When Bob Survives Dr. Marvin
Funny!
Why not? All we need is to talk about ourselves
I don’t know. This obsession with talking is very annoying
I loved your piece!
I liked that Ian had only 45 minutes per patient
Pure fuquel
loved the letting out block
loved the thinking block