White Terrorists Don’t Sneak

White Terrorism Is as Old as America, read Marquel, TPVs NYTimes See Someone Tell Someone Section correspondent, cleaning his white teeth whiter. The Times says that critics claim it’s racist when we don’t call white terrorists for what they are but do it immediately, no matter what the circumstances, if they are black, or worse, Muslim. But Marquel thought about this and concluded they may have missed the point.

It is true as the Times said, that we have had terrorists since our beginnings but as long as they’re white, we call them heroes or warriors. Are we ready to call George Washington and Paul Revere terrorists? Marquel couldn’t see how. They didn’t even behead people. The British hanged Patrick Henry but neither of them were terrorists. Were they?

But then things get more complicated. Sherman burnt everything in his path. He came as close to terrorism as a white person can come. On the other hand, he had Lincoln’s full support. Was Lincoln a terrorist? That’s why it becomes complicated because Lincoln was all dressed in black, long smock coat, black foreign looking hat, tall like Osama bin Laden, and dressed effectively in a burqa, at least almost.

So Marquel asked the TSA who know all about terrorists, whether white people could be terrorists and, if so, who is on the list.

“Not actually. Now if they were Swedes who came in a plane and tried to bomb the new World Trade Center, that would be terrorism. But if a nut from Brooklyn tried the same thing, that’s not terrorism.” Said a TSA spokesperson.

“Well the Swedes obviously would hate us. That’s an important part of terrorism. But the Brooklyn nut might just dislike the architecture.” He said.

“Sure. Have you seen that building? The detailing? The upward thrust that seems aborted in mid flight? It looks like architecture by committee. I could kill for that and I’m no terrorist.” He said.

“They don’t sneak. To be a terrorist you have to sneak around, be afraid of capture, hide in hideouts. Usually, a white person doesn’t have to do that. But a Muslim wearing a suicide vest at JFK, he’s got to sneak or that’s it for him.” He said.

“That’s a good start. They also have to be strange. That’s what makes them sneak. A white person simply isn’t strange.” He said.

“You’re stretching there. I guess he hated blacks but just here. If they were in Africa maybe not. He hated the idea of a black America, not necessarily black people. But that’s splitting hairs. He may have snuck the gun, but he himself didn’t sneak around. So one of the three factors isn’t there. And to look at him, he resembles most southerners. You can’t say he looked dumb. In the south that’s not strange. They have to be OBJECTIVELY strange. I’m afraid it just doesn’t fit. White people just aren’t terrorists.” He said.

“Fear. We fear terrorists. They’re filled with hate, sneak around, and are strange. Muslims are scary. White so called terrorists are just Americans. Americans are dangerous, always have been. But we don’t fear them. They’re us!” He exclaimed.