Marquel, TPVs NYTimes IQ Depression Section correspondent, was learning the multiplication table in Chinese, when he read How Walking in Nature Changes the Brain. Marquel went for a quick jog through the park and read the article again. It made no sense to him. He went outside once more, and jaywalked across midtown streets for a half hour, read the article again, and it was all clear. Brooding, or morbid rumination, is a state of mind often leading to depression, during which the subject concentrates on all the things that went wrong. Aside from the ongoing domestic dispute with his Harley, Marquel has few such regrets but understood even though he’s not a brooder himself.
According to the Times, people who spend some time in a green, leafy, park-like environment, do less brooding, and show less activity in a part of their prefrontal cortex. The theory is that a walk in the park changes your brain, and less brooding is just one effect.
- To Marquel it sounded too similar to what you see when you drive west of Jersey City. Marquel has noticed it since infancy. People tend to be more friendly, relaxed, and, well, more stupid. Marquel wondered whether less brooding is worth it.
He called the researchers.
“Yes,” one said, “It’s quite possible that you might notice this as you drive into more rural areas. It’s simple more relaxing and less brooding would be part of it.”
“Okay, what if somebody’s lived in a dark and dirty city, might he brood enough to invent the light bulb? Ever hear of Edison?” Asked Marquel.
“We would have no evidence of that.” Said the expert.
“What about jaywalking?” Asked Marquel.
“What about it?” Asked the expert.
“Isn’t it likely that less city dwellers get killed jaywalking than all those hicks enjoying their leafy strolls?” Asked Marquel.
“I don’t follow you.” Said the expert.
“Oh I think you do. It seems to me that what you’ve noticed is what happens to anyone who moved out of the city. Their prefrontal cortices change, as you theorize. Their brains change. They get dumb!” Exclaimed Marquel.
“We certainly didn’t find that.” She said.
“Because you didn’t want to. What you call brooding is what people do if they have brains. Brood about their mistakes and do better in the future. It’s called learning.” I said.
“We didn’t find that but of course it wasn’t our hypothesis.” He said.
“Yeah, but if it were, the hypothesis would have gone something like this: people who move to the country get dumb and useless. People in the city are smarter and more creative. Their brains change. It’s all in the prefrontal cortex.” I said.
“That sounds pretty extreme. I couldn’t really subscribe to that.” He said.
I thought about that. I even brooded for a second. Consistent with my theory, I had an idea. “Where do you live?” I asked.
“Bayonne.” She said.
“Aha. West of Jersey City, right?” I asked her.
“I guess.” She said.
“I know,” I answered.
***
By MARQUEL: Brain Rumors
Funny. Controversial.
So lovely in your urban bias, Marquel. I adore you.
Absurdly insulting
Eddy, you mean so correct and funny
I agree with your amazing analysis, Marquel
Pure fuquel!