Marquel, TPVs NYTimes Reality Section correspondent, went to market to buy a pet and tripping read We Invited Donald Trump to Town. According to Frank Bruni, one of the Times only honest writers, the Donald is the necessary result of our confusion between Kim Kardashian and Eleanor Roosevelt, JFK with Kanye West, and George Washington with Christian Siriano.
It all started, says Bruni, when Marilyn Monroe appeared at JFKs birthday party followed up by Richard Nixon‘s cringy appearance in Rowan & Martin’s Laugh In. It continues with Obama’s appearances on Jon Stewart.
“Well obviously, education is key. These developments coincide with the dumbing down of our schools. No wonder people confuse comedians with politicians. They’ve turned politics into comedy.” Said one expert.
“That’s impossible. We think a variation of the old poll tax/literacy test used to discriminate against blacks would be suitable. But this one would discriminate against dummies.” He said.
“No, a course. No test at all to avoid comparisons with Jim Crow. But if you want to vote, you have to take a voting course. Just like a driver’s license but it expires every four years.” He said.
“That’s not our only idea. Another one simply reverses current events. If we’re going to get our candidates from tv shows and circuses, require everybody in entertainment to get a PhD in political science. It would improve both entertainment and politics.” He said.
“You have to admit it would be a refreshing change.” Said one of the experts.
“Certainly. Imagine Dr. Stern.” He added.
“Yes,” said a third expert. “But there will be no big money. No millionaires or billionaires allowed.” He said.
“To be constitutional, discrimination has to have at least a reasonable basis. You take ten ordinary Americans, five will be dumb. Take ten American millionaires, nine will be dumb. Often, all ten. They can’t be allowed to run or even contribute campaign funds.”
They were silent. I said, “huh?”
Finally one spoke up. “We don’t have a good answer to that. We have to attract them with a good enough offer that they’ll leave.”
“Something like that. They mostly, though, want position and power. We’ve thought they might function well as African despots.” He said.
“Well nobody asked us to improve the world, just the old USA.” He said.
“It could be.” He said.