[embedyt]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gAshNAfOHTg[/embedyt]Marquel, TPVs NYTimes WTF Section correspondent, was getting ready to protest St. Louis Officer Darren Wilson’s luck, when he read Graft Hobbles Iraq’s Military in Fighting ISIS. The Iraqi military and police forces had been so pillaged by their own leadership that they all but collapsed this spring in the face of the advancing Islamic State fighters. But the words “pillage” and “graft” hardly tell half of the story. Marquel studied the article and concluded we have neither friends nor enemies, including the well-known, for now only, ISIS, which is both a client and vendor of ours throughout the region.
On the other hand, although Marquel understood the dynamics, or thought he did, he hasn’t a clue about the motivations of the players.
First Marquel went to the Department of the army where he talked with the Quartermaster General.
“General, according to the latest reports, nothing we give to the Iraqis stays with the Iraqis.” I said.
“To be precise, that is true of only 95% of the materiel.” He corrected me.
“That’s like a total loss,” I commented.
“It’s more like a 95% loss,” said the General.
“Practically speaking, if we ship twenty new tanks to the Iraqis, what happens to those tanks, in whose hands do they end up?” I asked.
“That’s a deceptive question because in a sense they never leave our hands. We can get them back any time we want-” he said.
“But in a temporal and material sense those tanks, save one, are not in the hands of our so called Iraqi allies.” I said.
“Yes. The Iraqis sell them to ISIS right now, and they get pretty much retail price.”
“So we are supporting ISIS, our enemy, instead of the Iraqis, our ostensible ally.” Said I.
“No not at all. Remember we give these to Iraq. Then Iraq sells them. This is a huge support to their economy. Each tank is close to a billion. When Isis pays Iraq, or Iraqi commanders for their tanks, that is a huge drain on their economy.” He said.
“So the strategy is to weaken ISIS by selling them overpriced matériel through Iraqi intermediaries who are equivalently richened.” I queried.
“There is no such strategy. It’s just the way things work.” He insisted.
“So what is the strategy if that’s not it?” I asked.
“As far as I know, we have no strategy in East Asia. A strategy can fail. Without a strategy, failure is impossible. The Obama Administration is determined not to fail.” He said.
“But that means you can’t win either,” I countered.
“You are so wrong. Since Bush we’ve been losing one conflict after another. In that context, not losing is winning. Without a strategy, you can’t lose, and therefore…” he paused.
“You’re guaranteed to win. Barack has a win-win non strategy. I wonder how history will see it.” I mused.
“I don’t think that’s in the calculations. History’s mind was made up a long time ago about our first black president.” He observed.
“You mean our first black-white, Republican-Democrat president.” I corrected.
“Well that may be what history decides or it may not.” He opined.
“We’re sort of off the track here. How are we going to successfully defend Iraqi autonomy when all the weapons we give them are sold to our and their mortal enemies? This seems an impossible position.” I said.
“Remember the arms aren’t missing. If Iraq needs them it can buy them back…at a discount because they’re used and there’s no ready market. In the end, Iraq benefits twice, by the sale of free matériel, and the discount purchase of technically used but actually brand new equipment.” He said.
“And what if ISIS starts, or should I say, continues to beat the crap out of Iraq?” I asked.
“Then nothing stands out in the desert like a U.S. tank. We destroy them from the air. That means they have one billion less, Iraq has about a billion and a half more, and we ship them more tanks.” He said.
“And what about ammunition and carbines, even automatic weapons. They’re not so easy to spot from the air.”
“But the ammunition and the rifles end up in different hands. Last shipment all the ammunition was sold by Iraq to ISIS but all the ammo was sold to Al Qaeda. From there the Syrian rebels bought both, came to us for training, and returned both the guns and the ammo. It all works out.” He said, smiling broadly and humming the Star Spangled Banner.
“And this is without strategy, just the way, as you say, ‘things work out.'”
“Absolutely. The middle east and east Asia are not susceptible to western strategies. What we’re doing is clearly the best anyone can do. The Russians tried to win and lost. We’re trying not to lose and so we’ll win! Easy, isn’t it?” He asked.
“I guess if you’re crazy, I said.
“Oh yes, they’re all crazy. If they weren’t do you think any of this would be happening?” He asked me with a singular expression and eyes piercing into my own. I could tell he was truly deadly serious. And I had no answer. Who could?
***
BY MARQUEL: Finally, One Big Family
[embedyt]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TNAQ8LLptUo[/embedyt]
Agreed: “ISIS, which is both a client and vendor of ours throughout the region.”
This is also true, I bet:
“Yes. The Iraqis sell them to ISIS right now, and they get pretty much retail price.”
Loved this:
“And what if ISIS starts, or should I say, continues to beat the crap out of Iraq?” I asked.
“Then nothing stands out in the desert like a U.S. tank. We destroy them from the air. That means they have one billion less, Iraq has about a billion and a half more, and we ship them more tanks.” He said.
This is better:
“And what about ammunition and carbines, even automatic weapons. They’re not so easy to spot from the air.”
“But the ammunition and the rifles end up in different hands. Last shipment all the ammunition was sold by Iraq to ISIS but all the ammo was sold to Al Qaeda. From there the Syrian rebels bought both, came to us for training, and returned both the guns and the ammo. It all works out.” He said, smiling broadly and humming the Star Spangled Banner.
I loved it all.
perfect pitch
ditto
ditto2