Marquel was playing with a horse in Central Park when he read Measles Cases Linked to Disneyland Rise, and Debate Over Vaccinations Intensifies. As the number of diagnoses in California reached 59, some schools said students may be barred because they have not been inoculated.
Meanwhile, at Disneyland itself, the lines go off the property and across the adjoining interstate. The lines are for measles, which has become the trendy thing to have in the Golden state. Children chatter, watch kids with red dots leaving the park and scream, “I want some too! Daddy, please?” The big thing among parents is not to vaccinate their children. Why? Marquel asked some parents.
“It’s not natural. They make it in eggs. My kids don’t like eggs.” One said.
“But what’s natural is measles. You don’t want your kids to have that do you?” Asked Marquel.
“I don’t think we should interfere with nature.” He answered.
Marquel warned, “you can get pneumonia from measles. You can go deaf. Some die. And a third have to be hospitalized”
“Says who?” he asked.
“The CDC. That’s who.” Said Marquel.
“The government, huh? The government’s not bringing up my children.” He said.
“It’s all about herd immunity. I’m not giving my kids a shot to protect other kids.” Another said.
“But it’s reciprocal. You protect them they protect you.” Marquel explained, without a sign of the frustration he felt.
“Communism!” He sputtered.We were at the end of the line and it was our turn to run across the interstate. We waited for an opening and ran. It felt like frogger but we made it.
Breathless, I asked another.
“It gives you measles,” a mother said. “It can paralyze you.”
“Who told you that?” I asked.
“Everybody knows. Don’t you have internet service?” She asked.
“Have you asked your doctor?” I asked.
“He can’t give me objective advice because he has a financial interest in shots.” She said.
Our line was moving forward. Soon we would be facing the measles itself. I had measles as a child so I wasn’t worried. I heard tires screeching and horns blasting behind me from the interstate. I decided to ask someone else.
“It doesn’t work. People get measles even with the vaccine”
“Actually that’s not true. The side effects don’t include measles. And you also get vaccinated against mumps and rubella. Mumps can make your children sterile.” I explained.
“What’s rubella?”
“German measles.” l said.
“Now THAT makes no sense. I’m really going to get German measles in California. Germany is near France! I’m telling you, the vaccine gives you measles. That’s how it works.” He insisted.
The last person I asked said, “it gives you autism.” I looked at his children. They all had oversized heads, were gnashing at the pavement, and were crushing insects and eating then. Autism? How would they know? But I said nothing.
A giant Disney character with red dots painted on his face, holding an even larger hypodermic, approached and said
“be sure you come to the park once you’re infected. Don’t worry, everyone inside has it, so you can’t spread it!”
The parents all murmured agreement. The children squealed.
I tried one last effort, saying loudly, “what do you expect from someone called Goofy?“
The line moved forward. I left for Knots Berry Farm.
Heah, great fun
amazing imbecility
Loved it
marvelous M
I adore you man, you rock
Bro, you’re the best. Who would think to use Emma Lazarus for these nitwits? Only Marquel. Bravo
Excellent piece
That was my editors choice, unfortunately