Home By Marquel Sometimes a Story Needs a Push

Sometimes a Story Needs a Push

Marquel, TPVs NYTimes Doctor Kevorkian Section correspondent was considering adopting a cat, when he read Argentine President Now Says Prosecutor’s Death Was Not a Suicide.

President Cristina Fernández de Kirchner said she believed that the lead investigator of the 1994 bombing of a Jewish center did not commit suicide.

The death of prosecutor Nisman in his apartment with a gun by his side was initially called a suicide by Kirchner. Her sudden reversal shocked the country and Marquel. How could it be suicide one day and murder the next? Marquel contacted Kirchner’s office to find out.

Marquel, who has extensive experience in Argentine politics, is more than a little comfortable in Spanish. The words, “yo soy Charlie” flow from his lips like chile out of a taco.

He sat down with Señora Kirchner and asked her about Nisman and the investigation he led into the Kirchner government’s role in protecting Iran from accusations it helped bomb a Jewish center twenty years ago.

“What made you so certain yesterday that this was a suicide?” Asked Marquel.

“I had information from the Iranians that he killed himself” she said.
“Isn’t that suspicious?” Marquel asked, “since they were the targets of his investigation?”
“I have found them to be reliable, especially in supplying us with oil.” She answered.
“Well then, what convinced you that it was murder?” Marquel wondered.
“First Iran missed its monthly delivery of oil. Second, I read an interesting document about suicides and the Nisman death just didn’t fit.” She said.
“What was the document?” I asked.
“A small book of poetry by Gabriela Mistral, called, Sonetos de la Muerte,” She answered.
“Sonnets of Death?” I repeated.
“Oh Marquel, your Spanish is marvelous!” She exclaimed, understandably, “Mistral won the Nobel Prize in Literature.”
“Yes, and the first South American to do so. And that convinced you that a suicide wasn’t a suicide?” I asked.
“Oh yes. And it convinced me that many murders are actually suicides.” She revealed.
“Can you give me an example?” I asked.
“Well I obviously didn’t do a complete historical survey but it turns out that Abraham Lincoln actually committed suicide.” She said.
“I find that hard to believe.” I said.
“I can understand that, but you might accept it if you understood that JFK also took his own life.” She said.
“Well I might but I find that equally unbelievable. You wouldn’t have any more discoveries would you?” I asked.
She paused and looked thoughtful. “The Charlie Hebdo staff was not shot by two terrorists. They were too numerous. It was a mass suicide just like in Jonestown.” She insisted.
“Wow. Does anybody else believe this?” I asked.
“I’ve just posted it on my blog. Tomorrow all of Argentina will know these facts.”
“Are you sure you’re not just muddying the waters here? The most common criticism of your administration is that you don’t govern seriously. Like you haven’t taken the Jewish center bombing seriously.” I said.
“That’s ridiculous. My followers aren’t gullible. They’re serious and they think for themselves. They, and you, will understand when they read in tomorrow’s blog that there never was a bombing to investigate.” She said.
“No?” Was all I could muster.
“No, it was a strong but localized earthquake. We have many of them in this region. You see, there never was a crime there.” She asserted.
“I see,” I said. And I did. No wonder they pal around with the Iranians.
***
By MARQUEL: Sometimes a Story needs a Push

 

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