Marquel, TPVs NYTimes Swastika section correspondent, was reading Maus, when he took a break to read For Swiss, a Distasteful Jolt With Coffee: Hitler Creamer . The company, Migros, said it was “unforgivable” that images of Hitler and Mussolini had appeared on containers that usually feature Alpine landscapes and animals. Marquel thought it rather coincidental that Mussolini and Hitler have returned to the European breakfast just as anti Semitism seems to be returning to the European continent. Could it be more than a simple mistake? Test-marketing, perhaps?
Marquel went to the Migros representative who said it was the work of their ad company, SS, Inc. so he took a trip to visit them.
“Tell me,” I said, “aside from the mini scandal, how did actual sales go? Will Migros ever sell creamer again?”
“Creamer? Of course. They sold out. Despite this, err, ‘mistake’ they had not one consumer complaint. I think we Europeans have finally learned to live with our past.”
“By embracing it?” I challenged.
“Well it’s not healthy to hate yourself. You must forgive yourself. This might be one step in the process.” He said.
“Depending on where it goes, I suppose,” said I, trying to be sociable.
“It looks like the sky’s the limit. Mercedes has approached us to make a portable coffee maker for their new ATV SUV called ‘the Rommel.’ “
“What kind of decorative touch do they want?” I asked.
“The market surveys show that the Hitler-Mussolini labels have tremendous market appeal. You might call it nostalgia. That’s always pretty innocent.”
“I don’t know about that,” I said, “who else has indicated interest?”
“Hilton Hotels is opening a chain of tough love weight loss units. They want to call them Abu Graib. There’s a sense that you can’t help losing weight there.” He said.
“If you don’t lose your head first.” Said I, again trying to be pleasant.
“You know we’ve been approached by that Englishman working for Isis, Abdel Majed Abdel Bary, who decapitated those Americans. He wants to endorse a series of barber shops for upscale men, saying, ‘We’ll take off as much as possible,’ ” he said.
“Haven’t you any scruples?” I asked. “How can you profit from such outrages?”
“I think you’re confusing cause and effect,” he said. “We are only an advertising agency. We can’t promote what people don’t want, certainly not that which outrages them. Furthermore, do you think that if we promote these barber shops, then Isis will cut off more heads? Of course not. I think you’re being unnecessarily pudique.”
“Pudique?” I questioned.
“It’s a French word. Its meaning, as with all words, is irrelevant.” He insisted.
“I wouldn’t be surprised if you decided to use Auschwitz for a cookie company,” I challenged.
“Cookie company?” He said. “I can’t see how that would work. But we do have a private school in Netherlands with that name. They are expanding into Brooklyn and Harlem with a series of charter schools. ‘Send them to us. We won’t send them back’ is their slogan, indicating that your kids won’t be rejected as happens far too often.”
“Well that is a problem in New York but a lot of us feel charter schools are not the way to go, including our mayor.” Said I.
“Charter or not, it’s a good name for a school with essentially open admissions. And that’s a step in the right direction.” The SS man insisted.
“I wouldn’t want to step into their chemistry lab,” I opined.
“They have space problems as do most charter schools. Their chemistry labs will be in trucks parked on the street.” He said.
“With their motors running,” I suggested.
“I wouldn’t know,” he said.
“So this is the New Age, nostalgia for World War II atrocities?” I questioned.
The SS man shook his head, “It’s not just World War II. We have clients who want to try some Spanish Civil War terms. So I’d say it’s quite innocent. Simply nostalgia.”
“Are they going to resurrect the Abraham Lincoln brigade?” I asked.
“No, not at all. But at next year’s US Open, watch for the hot dogs called, ‘Franco.’ “
“Who would buy that?” I asked.
“Very upscale audience. Educated. Wealthy. Sophisticated.” He said.
“Stupid.” I added.
“We don’t get into that,” said the SS man.
***
BY MARQUEL: Mein Kreampf
Wonderful. So artian!!
as art spiegelman? fancy!
Loved it. It starts so juicy: “rather coincidental that Mussolini and Hitler have returned to the European breakfast just as anti Semitism seems to be returning to the European continent. Could it be more than a simple mistake? Test-marketing, perhaps?”
agreed
super!
fantastic!