No gang members left to kill after all 30,000 known members murdered in last twelve months, according to credible sources.
The Chicago murder rate plummeted in 2013 to almost zero, puzzling experts. Some attributed the statistics to better policing. Others pointed to the falling number of illegal guns confiscated.
One key bit of evidence, however, was overlooked by researchers: 3 of the 4 cemeteries in Chicago closed last year, citing “lack of burial plots” as the reason.
Even a cursory examination of the cemetery records, however, shows a surplus of 30,113 extra bodies buried in 2012 over burials in 2011, the exact number of gang members audited the year before.
A sure tipoff should have been the invitations to join several of Chicago’s major gangs received last year by both Rahm Emmanuel, the mayor, and by Gary F. McCarthy , the police superintendent. And the falling level of guns matches the death rate: 30,000 less guns because of 30,000 less gangsters.
“We just thought it was a joke, or maybe a postal error,” said McCarthy . “But I guess they really were desperate for new members. Who’d a thunk it?”
For a more in-depth coverage of the Chicago mystery, go to http://nyti.ms/Kjc9fL.
Liked the precise number of extra bodies buried in 2012 over burials in 2011, the exact number of gang members audited the year before.
Liked the postal error ersatz. Good one
So, are they going to join? From what I’ve heard, Emmanuel likes to be the boss…Also, now that the herd has been thinned, who are the police going to hunt – lions need gazelles.