Home By Marquel Money, Money, Money

Money, Money, Money

After Indicting 14 Soccer Officials, U.S. Vows to End Graft in FIFA, read Marquel, TPVs NYTimes You Can’t Always Get What You Want Section correspondent. Fourteen officials from the very top (Well maybe not the very top, there’s a little confusion on that point) to the bottom of the executive committee . Who’s in charge of all this? We get the second to the top in ISIS, and everyone else sits pretty. We get the top Al Qaeda guy and suddenly there’s dozens of others. We wipe Libya out of existence and suddenly Europe is flooded with Somaliens.

But when it comes to soccer, it’s a clean sweep. And Marquel thought the top 1% are immune. This turns everything upside down. Couldn’t these guys run our wars and leave soccer alone? After all everyone knows that soccer is the most popular sport in the world but in America it’s for sissies. We don’t even like pronouncing the word.

But we did have the top 14 of the top 17 arrested and are being extradited to the US. As everyone knows, although we have nothing but vomit and pox for soccer, the integrity of the sport is uppermost in most American minds.

The Rasmussen Report polled all Americans and came up with the following findings:

 


cannot stand soccer                                                                                    soccer integrity important
                99%                                                                                                                               100%
Like soccer                                                                                                    soccer integrity important
     0.5%                                                                                                                                       100%

 


Americans are devoted to soccer integrity. So the government appears to be doing the public’s bidding. But why not arrest the top three? They were the only ones neither indicted nor arrested.

The new U.S.attorney says, “just wait. This isn’t over yet.”

In fact it was surprising that we got the lower 14 or so. Speaking to their lawyers, I finally understood why they gave up so quietly.

“The U.S.threatened to drone them. In Switzerland. I couldn’t believe it.” Said one.

Another complained,

“I told them they couldn’t drone them in Berne, but they told me there were only rules restricting them from killing U.S. citizens, and even then they can do it if they ‘really really want to.’ Otherwise they said the US can kill anyone anywhere anytime.”

That seems about true under Obama. But you have to admit, soccer’s gonna be cleaner. Why doesn’t this work in Yemen? And what about the remaining three?

The U.S.attorney made reference to

“unannounced drone strikes in the case of fugitives who cannot be apprehended in more traditional ways.”

More traditional ways? How is being killed by a drone being apprehended? Usually after apprehension, you get to plead, dismiss the indictment, attack flaws in the accusation, defend at trial, and appeal at least twice. A drone “apprehension” leads at best to one thing: a funeral.

Marquel was truly puzzled why we went to these lengths over soccer when for all practical purposes, it doesn’t even exist in the U.S.. Something’s fishy. Somebody in the U.S., somebody with a lot of money, suddenly has a lot of interest in soccer. He or she should stick out in this anti soccer nation. That’s the best guess Marquel can make. How come there’s nobody with money who wants us to win in Yemen or Afghanistan?

Yemen and Afghanistan? Maybe we can extradite them from Switzerland.

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By MARQUEL: Money, Money, Money 

https://youtu.be/rkRIbUT6u7Q

6 COMMENTS

  1. Marquel, I could not believe my eyes when I saw this non-story on the front page of the Times

  2. I love the idea of using drones on everything. Imagine a cowboy movie with drones. Let’s drone them all into ground.

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