Home Dana Neacsu TheWeekholeView – Who’s Your Daddy?

TheWeekholeView – Who’s Your Daddy?

jungHere, each hole starts on Wednesdays and this is what fell through this past week, in more than one way or day:

On Wednesday, November 28, North Korean babies lost their chance to become Jong-un minions. The North Korean military found the new executive order forbidding both boys and girls from being named Jong-un unmanageable. How would they decide who to execute at the next fake coup d’etat?

Thursday, November 29, Eva Mendes and Ryan Gosling talked about their baby name choice travails.

“Starting today her name shall be Esmeralda, the character from the Victor Hugo novel The Hunchback of Notre Dame. We just managed to finish that amazingly big book today after listening to the audio tapes since we started dating. Until today she was just Amada, which was my grandmother’s name. Amada was the only woman who did not find Ryan sexy, and I really do not want my daughter to find him sexy.”

In other news, Eva, 40, said that she and Ryan, 34, had so far cared for their baby girl without the help of a paid nanny, relying instead of all the women who showed up at the door to have their selfies taken with Ryan. The going rate is one selfie for each week of excellent childcare services.

On Saturday, November 30, Robert Downy Jr tweeted that his newborn baby daughter proved to have none of his “junk DNA,” which made TPV wonder who her daddy was.

On Sunday, November 31, the Tonight Show host, Jimmy Fallon, 40, and his wife Nancy Juvonen, 47, welcomed their second daughter, Frances Cole Fallon, who like her sister, Winnie Rose, came out of the vagina of a surrogate mother.  The egg and the sperm were bought on e-Bay with Fallon’s money. Any parental ambiguity was thus clarified.

On Monday, December 1, India’s PM talked at the UN letting all imperial powers know that the Indian software engineers so much in demand in the US and everywhere else would soon take over the world computers with their contagious inborn “superbugs.”

On Tuesday, December 2, in response to the UN publicized threat, Britain’s national health service agency reversed its standards and urged pregnant women to deliver babies at home with midwives or any other family member – preferably older than 18. The reason given by the National Institute for Health and Care Excellence was that British hospitals were full with unmanageable Indian doctors. Filled with remorse for having abandoned almost 1 million Indian babies to death yearly, they might start randomly touching British babies diminishing thus their colonial immunity.

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 BY DANA NEACSU: TheWeekholeView – Who’s Your Daddy? 

4 COMMENTS

  1. Very nice.

    “Winnie Rose, came out of the vagina of a surrogate mother”…

    But how’d she get IN there in the first place – that’s the tricky part.

  2. Nice:

    “his newborn baby daughter proved to have none of his “junk DNA,” which made TPV wonder who her daddy was.”

  3. I liked:

    “relying instead of all the women who showed up at the door”
    (when I first heard the news I figured it was guys from the Marina staff – this is much better, love sick young women are the best for taking care of babies)

    Of course, there can be other problems…

    liked this too:
    “Amada was the only woman who did not find Ryan sexy, and I really do not want my daughter to find him sexy.”…

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