Imagine This, Bibi

Marquel, TPVs NYTimes Mein Kampf Means I’m Sorry Section correspondent was eating a sandwich at Katz’s Deli, when he read something so crazy he almost choked. Netanyahu Denounced for Saying Palestinian Inspired Holocaust.

Israeli historians and opposition politicians joined Palestinians in denouncing the Israeli prime minister for saying the grand Mufti of Jerusalem gave Hitler the idea of annihilating Jews. But these are mostly bigots who hate #Hitler. They explicitly admit it by saying that #Bibi’s speech whitewashed Hitler in order to cast more blame over the poor Palestinians.

The historians, however, base their entire argument on the fact that the grand Mufti visited Hitler after he had essentially started in on the Final Solution. While it is true that the grand Mufti visited Hitler in the early forties, they ignore the long history of telephone conversations between the two that predates the final solution and even Eva Braun.

The telephone transcripts are publicly available. #Wikileaks released them several years ago under the title,

“the love song of the Mufti and Adolf. Under the NSA, it is listed as MAH, 1938-1941.

“Hello Mufti. Hitler here. How did you sleep last night?”

“Why didn’t you take my advice sweet Mufti?”

“You’re right. I’m thinking of getting rid of them.” Said Adolf.

“Trucks with exhaust reversed, big mass shootings, gas chambers. That’s as far as I’ve gotten. Just for you so you won’t have to count so high.” Said Adolf.

“You have all those young boys. I am so jealous. I have hausfraus, you have young boys. Count them.” said Adolf.

“You’re right, sweetest mufti in the world. I’d be roaming the streets like I used to, but I’m too recognizable. And then they want to raise their prices.” Said Adolf.

“Mufti, Mufti, my sweet, that’s perverse. I will get the Jews down to a reasonable size so you can count a few and be fast asleep the way I love you. That will be my Final Solution, just so my beloved mufti can sleep like a baby.”