Home Highlights Intelligence Chief Condemns Snowden and Demands Return of Data. It doesn’t matter...

Intelligence Chief Condemns Snowden and Demands Return of Data. It doesn’t matter that everyone has seen it. It’s classified.

The NY Times just reported that in a remarkable development, the U.S. chief of all intelligence agencies, James Clapper, wants everything that Snowden took returned to the NSA. Marquel could not wait to ask him why.

“It’s classified. Are you an idiot?” Said Clapper.

“No,” said Marquel. “Are you?”

“That’s classified.” Riposted Clapper.

“So,” continued Marquel, “If I were to write that you are an idiot, I could get prosecuted for publishing classified information?”

“You’re trying to trick me.” Protested Clapper.

“But so were you when you asked if I’m an idiot, right? Come on, be honest, You were just trying to fill out my dossier, correct?” Asked Marquel.

“Well…okay you’re right, but that’s what they pay me for.” Said a subdued Clapper.

“Well just tell me this then. You want Snowden to return all the documents he took even though the information has already been seen by thousands. How will that do you any good?” Asked Marquel.

“We will have them safely under lock and key once again.” rejoined Clapper.

“Well it’s unlikely that anyone would want them again.”

“Well you’re not an idiot after all.” Said Clapper, writing some notes, and speaking into his wrist something that sounded like, “Marquel not an idiot.” “Yes they will be safe once again. And so will the world we keep safe from terrorism.” Clapper continued

“And this is how we do it?” asked Marquel. “I really don’t understand. If the entire world has the information, why would you want him to return the documents?”

“The information is irrelevant. Most of it is garbage. Half of it is untrue. The other half is lies. But the documents are classified. We will get them back if we have to take back Snowden too.”

“Do you mean you’ll rendition him from Russia or Brazil?” Marquel asked wide eyed.

“Rendition is a noun. You can’t rendition someone or something.”

Marquel changed tack. “Is this entire interview disinformation, an attempt at minimizing the damage and reducing the credibility of the Snowden leaks?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“So you are an idiot after all…or maybe you’re not?” Wondered Marquel aloud.

“That’s entirely possible,” said Clapper.

Marquel finally felt a little safer for the  country.

8 COMMENTS

  1. Guys,you’re on the move here…
    Liked Rendition is a noun. You cannot rendition someone

  2. Perfect touch, Marquel. :“Well it’s unlikely that anyone would want them again.”

LEAVE A REPLY

Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.