ISIS Is Winning the Social Media War, U.S. Concludes, sadly read Marquel, TPVs NYTimes War Is Hell Online Section correspondent.
Marquel marvelled at ISIS’ success. 2,567,988 followers on Twitter compared to only 11,533 for the State Department. At this rate, ISIS will soon own us. The figures are the same at Facebook. 1,989,581 likes for ISIS, and only 9,899 likes for the State Department. Except for the fact that we can’t really afford to lose this war, it seems like time to throw in the towel.
“We seem to have lost the wit war. Everytime they make a witty comment, our attempt to mock them seems to fall flat.”
“I think so. Let’s see…When they took Fallujah, they posted a comment that ISIS was stronger than all the allied forces combined. We considered that a bit and posted, ‘but odor isn’t everything.’ which is pretty funny in a sophomoric way.” He said.
“What do you mean?” Asked the Pentagon man.
“Well we are fighting on the ground as well.” He said.
“Not really. That’s why we thought we could at least win the social media struggle.” He said.
“But everybody recognizes there is a separate war for the minds and hearts of the Arab War. We must win that war.” He said.
“We have one guy who was a barber. When i get my haircut the barber always makes me laugh.” He said.
“ISIS twitted that the U.S. is filled with war criminals. We immediately answered, ‘Takes one to know one.’ ” He said.
“Well ISIS recently twitted that USA are the most hated three letters in the Middle East.” He said.
“We twitted that ISIS was no more than two verbs joined at the hip. It didn’t go over.” He said.
“Yes, drones work better. But we’re determined to win the social media campaign as well.” He said.
“Hmmmm. I think it was the one about if you die for Allah you’ll be met with 17 virgins in heaven.” He said. He paused.
“I don’t get it.” He objected.
“An accountant.” He said.